May 2012
42 posts
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“Homeward bound,
home where my thought’s escaping,
home where my...”
– Homeward Bound, Simon & Garfunkel
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It’s finally happened. I am old enough to enjoy Top of the Pops 2. Goodbye youth. Hello getting garden equipment for christmas.
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on the platform
The first few days of sun are tentative. Nobody is sure what has happened. Nothing that Carol Kirkwood said on the news this morning seems to correlate with the pain we’re feeling. The Chelsea Flower Show is a delay not a departure. People in summer hats and maxi dresses are mocking us.
On the platforms everyone has just missed a train. Their legs are dangling out onto phantom carriages...
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“This is the thing. This is the pulse. This, this is what I do.”
– Mad Dog, The Raid (2012)
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Tonight I went to an open mic Storytelling Event at the Ritzy in Brixton. My friend told the story of the time he almost lost his virginity then didn’t because his mom was out.
We were jovial.
People said ahhhh.
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detailing the pulling hat
When I was at school I was oh so very whimsical. Or so I wish. I think I was most definitely oddball. Sometimes I tried as hard as I could to kick a ball against a wall with the other kids in the rugby team, but I was, against my wishes almost, naturally selected to be an inbetweener. We weren’t cool but neither were we the kid with the greenish glow to his skin, if you could see it...
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After a weekend at home, the thought of having to cook for myself is perhaps the most troublesome of all.
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“There was a sense of disappointment as we left the mall.
All the young people...”
– Uniform, Bloc Party
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dancing the bus seat blues
This morning I finally noticed something; the extreme mistrust that anyone with a seat available next to them greets a newcomer to the upper deck of a bus. Everyone eyes up the options. They second guess the choice this invader will make and calculate the exact proportion of the seat to cover with their arse, their bag, their small dog, their shotgun and grenade belt. Nobody likes a newbie.
On...
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“To you, it’s a potato. To me, it’s a potato. But to Sir Walter...”
– Edmund Blackadder
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New Summer Camp Track →
It’s a big dancefloor filler for the summer and brings with it promises of a brand new EP, set to drop this summer. Said EP will be entitled Always. I am excited. I am Always excited. I think, if you know me at all, you will have already second guessed my excitedness.
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Sunstroke A short story about a stroke victim at the end of the world, a postman on fire and a priest who is loving angels instead.
The pad of lined paper clattered off the metal framework of the chair as it tumbled. It took all of Gerald’s enthusiasm with it. He slipped down into the chair in the same way he had done for three years. He missed writing with his right hand.
He held the pencil...
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“Bring me back as something beautiful.”
– The Nothing, Mystery Jets
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giving shit dating tips
If you are unlucky enough to surf through the Yahoo lifestyle & dating sections, you will find some truly laugh out loud ‘articles’. I often see them on the yahoo homepage and become intrigued by some of their claims. However much I enjoyed the article on how good sperm is as a face cream, I cannot get over the 10 deceptive ways of getting a bloke into the sack. Surely you need...
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W O L F E N S T E I N . →
PLAY WOLFENSTEIN ONLINE IN HONOUR OF IT’S 20TH BIRTHDAY.
I remember playing this round the house of the kid who lived at the end of my garden. That may sound peculiar, but my house backed onto his, and we had a hole in the bushes we would go through to get to the other’s house. He’d come round mine to play Doom and I’d go round his to play Wolfenstein. Those were days...
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“If you seek it you won’t find another’s eyes so blinded by love.”
– Seek it, Richard Hawley
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There’s that eternal joke about razors that are way too complicated. I have just upgraded to something that I am not entirely sure is a razor. It might be a key component of a robot or a tiny model of the Starship Enterprise. It buzzes and flashes. I just want to get rid of my facial hair. If you’re having girl problems, I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems and I’ve...
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being tagged in something
Got tagged in this a while back. Now exams are through it seems like the perfect time to waste time providing you lot with the time of your lives.
[[MORE]]1) What does Tumblr mean to you?
Something you put a drink in to. That’s right isn’t it?
2) If you had a time machine, where would you go?
The question must surely be when would you go, right? I’m intrigued to see what the...
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“I don’t mind if my skull ends up on a shelf as long as it’s got my...”
– Debbie Harry
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running full pelt at a door
I wonder how many people still watch Takeshi’s Castle? I want to meet them. I want to tell them that someone does win the prize money, that their water gun cuts a hole in Count Takeshi’s ring and then, triumphantly, they climb to the summit to claim TV’s most disputed prize. ‘Oh it’s only a million yen, that’s like £4.50’.
My mom hated me watching it,...
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“So may the bridges we burn light the way
out of the darkness of where we have...”
– Radlands, Mystery Jets
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NME recently posted the twenty one top albums of...
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still breathing
There is an emptiness about post exams. You feel like you’re so full up, about to burst, waiting for someone to tug your ring pull free and let your being fizz up from inside.
But there’s nothing. Just a calmness, a sereneness, a hole where the work once was.
Today is the first day I haven’t seen 6.54am for over a week, it’s the first day I haven’t seen 7.25am...
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“Oh you needed to know that for an exam? I thought you wanted me to remember all...”
– Brain during exam period
April 2012
64 posts
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Anonymous asked: Just so you know, you will be remembered by me, for your wonderful writing. I hope wallowing isn't always the inspiration for the words. If it is then that is a shame, you should be happy with a talent like yours (and should, y'know, probably write short stories or something).
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wallowing
As I age I become increasingly aware of my own shortcomings. I have not curled a free kick into the top right corner in the ninety third minute of a cup final. I have not choreographed the biggest dance craze since Thriller. I have not run away from a responsibility. And sometimes I doubt I ever will.
I realised earlier that I have not been to the beach for two years. That was the last time I...
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If I hated this track, I would describe it as a...
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“I think people make their own faces, as they grow.”
– Enid Blyton
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doing one of those quiz things because I am weak...
Disclaimer: This may contain brilliance and knowledge never conveyed to humans before. Alternatively it might be baffling, confusing and as pleasant as nipping your nads having a trim.
[[MORE]]1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
That’s relationships for you, there’s always eighteen months of post coital texting.
2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
...